The CRM is one of those pieces of software that touches a lot of different teams. Whether it’s sellers using it to sell, leadership using it to report on pipeline, IT maintaining it, Finance paying for it, or ops just trying to get people to actually use it.

Which means everyone has a relationship with their CRM. And let’s be honest, very few of those relationships are sunshine and roses.

Especially in complex, relationship-driven businesses where the majority of revenue opportunity comes from current book of business rather than new logo acquisition.

In this, the second blog post in our ‘It’s not you, it’s them’ series (check out the first one here: Thinking of breaking up with your CRM? It’s not you, it’s them.) we’re going to take a light-hearted look at some of the (less than desirable) personality types CRMs typically present to different teams.

Think you may be in a relationship with one of these yourself? Take our interactive quiz to find out: What type of CRM do you have?

Sellers 

• Afterthought CRM 

This CRM is fantastic at managing Inbound Demand. Would be shocked to learn what the acronym CRM stands for.  

• The highest of maintenance 

This one is highly customizable, but often has more people managing it than use it. If it could ask for a foot massage, it would. 

• All take, no give 

This type of CRM is like your needy ex. All “fill in these fields” and “update your pipeline.”  

• Omniscient Bob/Barb 

This CRM isn’t a CRM, it’s a person who has worked there so long they know the name of your best customer’s least favourite cat.

• The servant of many masters 

This CRM will say it only has eyes for you, but you know it’s out there trying to be all things for all people.  

• The spreadsheet of doom 

This isn’t so much a CRM as a labyrinth of columns and rows, navigated by only the bravest of sales reps.  

Executives  

• The rearview mirror 

This CRM is perfect for you if all you want to know is what has already happened (with varying degrees of accuracy). 

• The single source of total contradiction 

This CRM creates more conflict than confidence. Every team uses it. No one fully trusts it. 

• The growth bottleneck 

This CRM is like driving with the parking brake on. It tries its best, but just can’t support how you actually generate revenue.  

Finance 

• The money pit 

Just when you think you’ve paid for this CRM another licence, consultant, admin, integration fee appears.  

• The fog machine 

This CRM turns forecasting into a party game. And not one that you particularly enjoy. Pin the tail on the pipeline.  

• The false economy 

This CRM starts out looking like a great deal, ends up looking like a great deal of nothing.  

IT 

• The frankenstack 

This CRM is a collection of integrations, customizations, and “temporary fixes” that became permanent sometime around 2017. 

• The infinite ticket generator 

This CRM has the magical ability to turn even the smallest business request into a scoped project for IT. Poof, more work for everyone! 

• The black box 

Nobody is quite sure how this CRM is wired together, and everyone is a bit frightened to touch it, in case they break it.  

RevOps 

• The abominable meh 

You can lead a rep to CRM, but you can’t make them care. This CRM repels adoption so well it’s almost impressive.  

• Data janitor simulator 

This CRM casts you as the protagonist in a never-ending battle against poor data hygiene.  

• The process straitjacket 

This CRM works great. If you work the way it wants you to work. So you build workarounds into your work so it works. 

You deserve better 

While laying the different types out like this is fun, living with it isn’t. Know that there’s a CRM out there that will be a good partner. One that brings out the best in every team. One that helps to find revenue hiding in your ERP data and surfaces it as actionable next steps.  

Want to know more? Take the quiz to find out your CRM type, and let us know what you got: Thinking of breaking up with your CRM? It’s not you, it’s them.